Happy to see this year gone!

See 2011 go!
In February I lost my dad...talked to him Tuesday night telling him that we will be seeing him that weekend in Florida....the next morning a blood vessel leaked into his brain and he past away. To tell you the truth I do not remember too much of the trip that Bob, Tim, & I made.
In august I lost my cousin which I just found again 4 years earlier....he past away in Florida....there was no service for him. He would call me each week and say, "Candy, this is Richard"
In September my sister flew up to here spent 5 days with us.....had a blast with her. Could not stand her when we were growing or into adulthood until our mother got sick with cancer again....been friends ever since.....then since our dad past away we are really close and best friends.....funny how things turned out! But when my sister flew home they found a blood clot in her leg....no more flying for her!
Then in October I lost my favorite uncle in Florida....I could not make the trip because I was having medical problems...my Dr said no trip!
On Christmas eve Bob, his family, & I got to baby sit Michael-our grandson....we had finger food and he had food in both hands. He did not even realize that Mom and Dad was gone for 2 hours! It was their 1st time of letting anyone watch him w/o mom or dad being there! We had a ball with him!
On Christmas day on our way back from NC (Bob's family and our oldest son) we hit a bump on the VA & WV state line and our exhaust broke...to talk to we had tell yell at each other! We get home and unloaded, we get a phone call from our oldest son William from the hospital our 19th old grandson had broken his leg. So, he's in a body cast for 4 to 6 weeks! He is NOT a happy camper!
Then this week the 28th I lost my male Pomeranian...Scooter Pooter Scrappy Doo Goode Plotts...that was the name of him on his paperwork. He usually escaped.....bob would take the car down where is was and he would jump in. Not on this day he ran across the road and was crossing back and a loaded coal truck hit him. He never felt anything.....and he was happy. Now I have my 3 girls (dogs) to take care of.
And I cannot remember most of the year......they call it Fibromyalgia fog....so, I am happy that I kept a diary this year. When I see my Dr next Friday I will find out more on it then. I have it all ready in my knees, fingers, elbow, back and shoulder!
So, I will be so happy to see this year gone! Good-bye 2011 and HELLO to a better YEAR! I hope for a better year!

Thank you for reading this and my rambling! And HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE!

Christmas was great until

our grandson Michael broke his leg...now he's in a just about a body cast! for 4 to 6 weeks!
Bob and I got to baby sit for about 2 hours while William and Jennifer finish their Christmas shopping!
 My in-laws finally had all of their 5 kids home for Christmas...Bob cooked and tried to keep Mom out of the kitchen--that did not work at all!

I hope everyone had a nice Christmas

just another week

Andrea and I went to our local and only thrift shop outside of man.....I picked up more Christmas items. Today I have been having chest pains but I do Not want to go the the hospital!

we went to Micaels, walmart, Family dollar, and some kind of tool place.  so < just about have the girls gifts done!

have a great week

went to the doctor today!

he upped my night time/anti depressant from 200 mg a day to 500 my a day...so I can stay away form the tyenol (msp) pm...the he gave me 2 breath things to use to times a day! then I had blood ran for thyroids, sugar, and something that I cannot remember!

I told him again that I could not lay on my right or eft side....the back and hip hurts! thank goodness for my TENS unit that I have 

have a great weekend

the last 2 weeks has really sucked

I went to my doctor.....and told him that something is going on with my bottom 1/2....now he is trying to set-up an appointment for mri with contrast! now we are waiting on Bob's insurance to approve it! meanwhile i cannot do hardly anything and I have to stay close to the bathroom.....I AM 48 YEARS OLD, NOT AN OLD LADY!!!

I called him Monday to see what was going to no return phone call from them, so I am still waititng...just wait until Monday comes around!! I am not in a very good mood because I feel like I am being put on the back burner again!

Something just ain't right here!

thank you for letting me vent!

doctor's today

he changed my meds again......since i broke out in hives from hthe pain patch...gone...abilify made me into a royal B*T*H they tell me.......

I came home a made 2 tie dye items....ones a sheet to make a rag rug out of the other is a violet, white, and blue striped t-shirt.....pictures later.....

this weekend hopefully we are going to the east coast largest flea market in hillsboro, va! and i did say hopefully! i need to find an old laptop with vista or xp so i can do all of the slides 200+ that my did left me! des not work on windows 7...that was in fine print and did not have my glasses! LOL

last week!

Ii have made a few things for my nieces.....one is graduating in June and the other one took pictures at a jewelry store and told the lady that her aunt can make this and cheaper too!

my new medicine  I am still trying to get used to!

my crafts for this week

Doctors vs. Medicine

 

I went to the doctor's on Monday! After Saturday with Andrea trying to help me up in every store that we went to....I wanted something different! Well, I think that I got that! But I have not slept in over 36 hours because I am worried!

 

So, here we go! My doctor prescribed a new medicine for my back that's a patch! I have read the book and watched the DVD on it!

 

It tells me to....watch for slowing heart beats, my snoring (oh, yeah right) my breathing,  and etc. Then it tells me to watch other medicines that I am taking.....nerve pill, allergy pill, anti-depressants.....I am taking all of these!

 

I want to get rid of the pain......I have had this for over 5 years now and it is just getting worst!

 

So, who should I believe the booklet or my doctor that writes all of my medicines out? 

what I am working on this week

 there's a couple of things that I have been working on this week.....a Christmas/birthday/anns crochet blanket and a retangled rag rug made out of a sheet!

right now it's 30x8 but it will be wider



this shows the colors and stitches!

My life is getting a little bit more easier from day to day! I still find myself calling Dad to check in and see what the news and weather is going to be for down there and up here! I get to talk to Miriam and about our trip last July that I took with them! I am so glad that I did, because in the back of my mind I knew that it will be the last trip that I would ever take with my dad! He acted so different from when I was growing up! we laughed & joked around....he was completely different man!

It's been a good and a bad week for me

Good- Weasel got laid off so he is moving a little camper that we will be living in with is dog Angel! ( I will miss him) because weasel will not be giving him his medicine! He is suppose to be back some time today and pack and pick up his check! Everyone of our neighbors are thrilled that he is moving!!!!

At least then we can have guest over and not have them sleep on the couches!!!! LOL

Bad- I keep picking up the phone to talk to my dad! I have so many questions to ask him that I did not get a chance to ask when he was alive! I just want to talk to him one last time!

THE BRISTOL RACE- was BORING as HE##! and of course Kyle Busch won it again! We had 4 teenage girls with us, too! Bob's boss bought the tickets so all we had to pay for was a room.....it had a HOT TUB in it! I could have stayed in it! Bob and I was celebrating our 29th anns, because we buried my dad on the 21st of February!

On sunday we took the back roads to get home because we knew that weasel would be drunk and of course he was! Then he wonders why his stomach is messed up all of the time! Where's his SIGN!!!

my week so far

yesterday marked a month since my dad past away! so, it was not a good day! I still find myself wanting to pick up the phone and talk to him! I did the same thing when my mom past away 21 years ago!

I still feel like I am a boat floating with no anchors to drop! my parents and grand parents were my anchors! I have a husband, 2 great sons and daughter-in-laws......but i am still lost!I am just going through the motions of the day!

I am still working on the sheet rag rug! It's getting pretty big!

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY TO EVERYONE!

unanswered questions.......

all day today I have been asking myself questions that cannot be answered.......
is my dad in heaven?
did God forgive my dad from what he did to me and my mom?

I forgave my dad, but I never will forget what he did to me or to my mom! that hurts me! because that has hurt me mentally and physically since I was 13 years old! Things that I am still dealing with until this day! No one can understand what has happened to me becasue they are all gone.......still unanswered questions! My sister just blocked things out when these things were happening, so she does not understand...........

I loved my dad because he had changed into a father that I always wanted........and had started a relationship with him.....a little too late!

back home

I am finally home after rushing down to nc for father-in-law! I just wish that they all know how lucky they are to have both mom and dad still living! I miss mine so much....tomorrow My dad would have been 74 years old! =*(

we did stop and seen the grand baby....Michael! He is getting so dang big! He's teething so bad! He claps when you clap which is so sweet! My oldest turned 28 years old today! It seems like just yesterday that I had him......and had both of my boys home! I miss both of them so much!I used to fuss at both of them for fighting! Now, I wish I had that back!

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I am okay.......

as far as I can be.....I mis my dad dearly and we were just starting a real relationship! In may Bonnie and I sat Dad down and told him this, " WE ARE TIRED OF YOU PITTING US AGAINST EACH OTHER AND WE AIN'T HAVING IT ANYMORE!!"  Miriam sat there and ageed with us....and dad with a funny look on his face said, " OKAY!" he  would call both of us on monday if we did not call him on sunday! it was nice! and I will dearly miss that!!!

I have completed my t-shirt rag rug pictures to follow cause I am using it for my side of the bed! LOL

Not reading anything right now just trying to get balanced out on my medicines and see where that goes!

I am keeping in touch with Miriam......and her girls! we all miss dad in different ways and someone is always there with Miriam! which is good!

enough for now!

not completely finished picture! post one later if this old lady can remember! LOL

I feel so lost

this damn medicine that the pimple face doctor has me on is not working and i will tell him thathe can put it where the sun doesn't shine! I am so dang tired of being lost.......I went through this with my mom, but back then I had my 2 boys to help me! Now, I talk to 3 dogs and they don't answer me.......thank goodness I would be nuts! LOL

with all of the abuse that dad did to me and he said that he was sorry....I thought that his passing would be easier on me....but I was just starting to get to know and enjoy him for the first time in my life!

I have the 2 days that I spent with him in May and 6 days in July to remember him by!

I know that he is up in heaven getting a ear full from grandma, grandpa, mom, and his ex-wives! LOL no peace for him! LOL But he is up there not in any pain and with Jeremy! an up there with our Boe Boe! and I am so sorry dad that I could not keep my promise of taking dorthia his cat! But I think that we all found a good and loving home for her! sorry dad!

Upset & DEPRESSED!

on the 16th I lost my father....we were never really close until these last few years! He abused me and he said that he was sorry to me in front of Tim. my youngest son! so, I forgave him....but I could not forget!

I talked to him on tuesday night making plans on seeing and spending some time together! well, the next day he was gone! I cry every night that is how much that I miss him!

Last summer we took a trip (dad, Miriam, and I) to Kentucky, Georgia, and North Carolina.....it was suppose to be a trip to yellowstone......which he told me that we could not make....so I told him anywhere would be find as long as I got to spend time with him! We went to Mammoth Cave National Park....Our tour was suppose to be 2 hours long but it was 4 1/2 hours....dad fell not once but 2 times down there on his reconstructed knee! Me no cigs, afraid of closed in spaces....here we are down 200+ feet below the ground....it was cool down there 58! Dad would pull over on the interstate so I could have a cig....this was NOT the DAD that I grew up with!  He showed me how to pan for gold in Ga......and we ate at 2 family style rest.....then in NC Dad got to hold his Great Grandson....he never held my 2 boys! so, this trip means a lot to me and always will! I have never laughed so much as I did that week!!!!

Well, we buried dad beside his mom, dad, and his 3rd wife on monday! I stood up with Bonnie and said a few words about my dad.....then Tim spoke...I was never so proud of him then I was that day! This day was Mine and Bob's 29th wedding anns! I did not mind it being forgotten on that day, but no one has said anything to me or Bob! If I forget a birthday or an anns. I am in for it!

this september I was planning on having a wedding to renew our vows which we have never done....I wanted my father to walk me down the aisle well, that will not be happening!

It is just me and my sister Bonnie now.....she lives in Florida and I live in West Va!Both places has a special meaning to our mom! We have our children but no one left to guide us anymore...........with this I will say......

I LOVE AND MISS
GRANDMA
GRANDPA
MOM
DAD

YOU WILL ALWAYS BE IN MY HEART!

Sunday was ok until.......

Tim came up with the bright idea to eat at Gatti's.....I wish that he would have just kept that to himself!

All I ate was a salad and dessert.....everyone else a soup-which Andrea liked it, Tim ate a couple of bites out of a piece of pizza and he left to play games, Bob ate a few pieces and we were ready to leave!

This place is worse than ChiChi's Pizza at least you had more selection! IWILL NOT BE BACK TO THAT TERRIBLE PLACE AGAIN!

Bob and I stopped at hardees to get something better to eat!

Stress

This problem has done a lot of damage to me...mentally and physically over the years! I try to be here for everyone in their time of need, but sometimes it just gets to be too much for to handle and that's when I shut myself off to everyone! But here lately I cannot do that because my sister needs me with what my neice is going through...the doctor's think that it could be a tumor cancer or what we will not find out until after Monday. Jerica has to have more tests on Monday! I don't know how much my sister can handle right now! or me for that fact!

I try to be kind to everyone but sometimes I feel like I could just stand up and tell everyone to go to HELL! but then I think where would that get me? That is where my problems stem from cause I do not say anything and if I do I am being a bitch...excuse my langauge but I have had enough!!!!

My ex-brother-in-law calls my sister and cusses her out because he thinks that she posted something about Jerica! well, it was Jerica that posted it to facebook NOT Bonnie!

I just want to put the world on mute for a day and let me heal my mind and body! But that cannot happen because I have a family, a husband, and friends! I just wish that I had someone to talk to!!!! But I am the listener!!!

My Day/Week

It has not been a good day all the way around! I am worried about my niece...she broke her leg a few weeks ago. They did a new x-ray and there is a dark spot in her bone. The dr's think that it is what caused her leg to break! Is it cancer? or what? She is only 18 years old...just starting her life...she finishes high school this year! She is a cheerleader, captain of the volley ball, weight lifting, and softball team!!!

Besides that I am depressed....for what or why? I don't have a idea! I am just so restless and I have been for the last few days! My mind will not stay on 1 thing too damn long! I'm not sleeping soundly and when I do sleep it is a light restless sleep!

Next Wednesday...Bob & I will be driving to Florida to go to the daytona 500 and to see my family! My father is having 2 surgeries...1 on the 17th and the other one n the 18th! My grand father died on the 18th.... 20 years ago!

Family?

why does some people have to hurt someone that was only trying to help and love a child.....Tim & Andrea would make GREAT parents and someday they will! But for now so,e people just need to think before they post something on facebook! Key word THINK!


I have kept my nose out of it and my mouth shut because that's what I thought that I should do....but when "NEW" God parents was posted I said that's it...I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!!!

I love my kids all of them not just my sons but their wives too! I am so damn tored of them getting hurt by someone being stupid and NOT knowing the true meaning!!!!

well, I was having a GREAT weekend! LOL

My WEEK

Monday....my doctor put be on klonapin- nerves, lexapro-depression, narco-pain, and flexaril-muscle relaxant! I have to go back in a month to see if the new meds are working!
Tuesday- I work on 2 more pages of Michael's scrap book...still a LONG way to go!
Thursday- I cleaned the whole house....mopped, vacuumed, did the windows, watered all of my plants, laundry, and  a lot more! But today you can not even see that I did anything!
Today- I organized last year's trips into stacks so I can start working on last years scrapbook!
Saturday-Bob has to work, but no one else does....so I know that our room mate Weasel will start drinking as soon as he gets up! So, I will spend most of my time in my bedroom watching tv and scrapbooking!
I am hoping and praying that Weasel will move out! I cannot take all of his drinking and me being here by myself sucks! CALGON TAKE ME AWAY!

just 2 more weeks to go until I can get away from here

CREATIONS-SOME





Baby Blankets that Andrea & I made





Michael's Crochet Blanket

Cell phone or camera case



computer duster

Our day/night AWAY

Bob and I went away to Chief Logan State Park Lodge- where Bob & I would like to renew our vows in September. We will be together for 20 years. I have never had a wedding....that's my dream anyway and it would be something else for me to mark off my bucket list! LOL

While there we went swimming in a heated pool....I did 7 laps! I can tell that I smoke and I don't excerise like I am suppose to.....or it is just old age? LOL

Then we sat in a 98 degress HOT tub! I let the jets hit me right on the part of my back that gives me A LOT of pain! It felt so good just to be away for just a day! =) But I did miss my kids and my puppies! NOT our room mate!

We drove through the country trying to find a piece of property to buy to build a home onto! WE WANT OUR OWN PLACE! NO LUCK =(

We went to our dr this am......he is helping me try to file for my disability and Bob is going blind in his 1 eye
from the temple problem that he has...GOING to WVU Friday am to a specaillist to try to save it! so Please PRAY for him!

Weasel, our room mate is home sick from work tonight....I have a feeling that he is going to have to quit drinking beer! His stomach is burning and he's running a slight fever! MEN an be such BIG BABIES!! LOL

I got a lot done today

I cleaned my house....mopped, vacuumed, laundry, and etc. I finished 2 more pages of Micael in my scrap book...I will be so happy to get it caught up, because I have all of last years trips to Florida, Kentucky, Ga, and to the WV State fair besides Christmas this year and last year to do.....SO I AM SSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOO behind in my scrap books! LOL

I am hoping that they find Zoey......she might be a dog but she is one of my grand kids...just like Honey, Sadie, Seba, Pee Wee, and Stormy is! I give them Christmas gifts and socks to them all of the time! LOL ( Andrea & Tim)

Tomorrow Bob and I are taking a day trip to somewhere and stay the night at Chief Logan State Park Lodge....because I know for a fact that our room mate is going to be drinking until he is past drunk! I just wish that he would find his own place or just go back to Hart's Creek! He told us that he did not drink but 1 to 2 beers a night.....but he drinks 1 to 3 cases on Sunday! But he is not drunk.....Yeah sure! NOT!!!!

have a great Sunday and see ya'll when I get back!

Angry at the Doctor today!

This new doctor that I seen today is such a B*!#H! First off, she did not say hello or even hi! Just told me that she is not taking new patients!!!! It said outside that they were taking new patients!!! Then she asked me what was wrong and I told her....that I am in such pain in my back that I cannot drive, sit for very long and etc......she told me that they do not hand out drugs and that I needed to go see the Man Clinic in town!!RUDE! I told her that I did not want any drugs ....I WANTED something done with my back....I cannot sleep and it gets on my nerves because of it and etc! She said that I am not a mental dr either...then what in the hell is she..NOT A DOCTOR!!! I know that I have some mental issues and she did not help them with her BAD ATTITUDE!!!

I was so ready to get out of there...so I am going back to my old dr....the pimplely face young dr at least he is trying to help me! But he is 1 to 1 1/2 hours away...I just wanted a family dr for me!!! NOT DRUGS!!!!!

I want to

thank Andrea for designing my BLOG! I do not know what I do without her! She has taught me from how to get on the computer to facebook.....THANK YOU ANDREA!!! Love ya!

it was a long weekend

I will be so dang happy when our room mate Weasel finds his own place or just move some where! He drinks from Saturday night until Sunday night! He does not think that he is drunk, but drunk to is......slur talking, walking around in circles, stubbling when he walks, messing up my kitchen after I clean it up, and going out to our neighbors bothering them! I tried to stay in the bedroom which I did until Bob came home from working on some trucks!

I will be so glad to go to a NEW doctor on Thursday! I might have to start all over, but at least I don't have to call at 8 am that morning to get an appointment!!!!!! Now I have to write everything down that I have had in surgeries and problems health wise! NOT MENTALLY!!! LOL

Has anyone watched the new cake baker on TLC? It's been on all day and the last show is tonight at 9 pm

Have a great week!

it's been awhile!

My holidays were great! Hubby was in the hospital the week of Christmas.....we went to visit William, Michael, and Bob's parents over New Year's weekend! Michael is growing so fast!

Bob is the night time boss now! has 20+ men that he has to keep up with!

I have been doing a lot of crafts that I want to share! If I can figure out how to do that!